Serendipity 24

Nouf

Fares looks so distanced, i wonder what's bothering him. I'm not good with emotions and saying the right thing at the those times. You'll find me smiling awkwardly at someone crying thinking: should I pat their back or should i smile less; should i add an its ok.. What if its not ok? how should i know?
I go for distraction is the best policy. Its my way in helping lift up people's spirit and i mean it in a very genuine way. Its the only thing i can do and i wont stand there doing nothing. I just can't...

"It so cold" i attempt in starting a conversation. He looks at me, smiles with a courteous nod and takes a puff on his cigarette. It doesn't surprise me that he smokes. His looks give the impression that he was born with a cigarette in his hand. Its part of his bad boy kinda image. I'm disappointed though. Why do guys think it makes them look better or macho? It doesn't smell good either and this whole thing with the yellower teeth and bad breath.... disgusting. Still didn't have an effect on perfect Fares though, but it doesn't look good.

"What's wrong?" Fares looked at me closely under his knit eyebrows. At that moment i realized that i was staring at him with a disgusted look on my face. "You have a bad habit of staring and not talking..."
I winced at his comment as i remembered the time i stared at him by the parking lot. "I was thinking how do you tolerate the taste and smell of the cigarettes  its.... disgusting"
He looked at me with half eye.. whaaaat did i say, oh god i need a brain to mouth filter and face mask... "Its the feeling you get with it, everything else shuts down and you're there somewhere...." he pauses to take another puff. I swear i could die of the smell, its causing some weird nauseous feeling in my stomach. He let the smoke out regardless of the expression on my face and continues, "...thinking of nothing just about where does this smoke goes. Its relaxing."

He stared back into the horizon and left me hanging there. Was this the end of the conversation? I can't believe that the company of his cigarette is better than any other human being. Its so difficult to talk to him. It literally hurts my brain to come up with a conversation to talk about. Even the silence between us is too tensed, i can feel it. Like what am I doing standing here... Is this what they call a spark of attraction?... What does he like? maybe football, he looks like an athletic person. I hope he's not overly obsessed though, like those that get into fights and so on...  Or maybe he's into cars.... UGGH... talk, say something you handsome statue..

"Stop complaining silently" came Butti's voice from behind me. He probably heard my huffs and puffs. I don't blame myself. I could've lost my sanity to the twirl of thoughts given my tied tongue. I couldn't explain the feeling of relief that poured over me when i heard his voice. Finally a normal person. "Your hot chocolate."
Mariam, Haifa and Lojain came walking in behind Butti holding their warm drinks in their hands. Apparently, the mothers decided to stay away from the cold weather. The glass wall was enough for them to see the beautiful scenery.

Haifa winked at me pointing with her chin at Fares. Just make it more obvious, the fool thats standing beside the silent statue. I smiled faintly.

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Trying to "speed up" things, Haifa decided to try out her match making skills.
"Nouf! you should ask Fares about studying masters in the states. Fares, its safe isn't it?"
"Not for girls." he replies with no hint of interest in the subject. All he could think about is ways to leave to a more "entertaining" place.
"Typical!" Replies Lojain as she rolls her eyes. "A girl can be safe in any place if she knows who to mix with and where to go.."
"oh, really." A spark of interest finds its way into Fares' voice. "then you should stay at home"
"What do you mean, huh?" The tension between the two worked up. Lojain was not willing to let someone belittle her in any way. Especially not him with his ego issues, she thought. "At least i can be responsible."
"Its fine. You just need to know the right and appropriate places. If you take care, there's no harm." Butti joined the conversation but addressed his words to Nouf. "But the feeling you get after coming back... its difficult. Two years of your life here would be missed and when you return you will feel the gap. Its a strange feeling."
"Yeaaah but you get to have the experience of living alone. That's amazing!" Lojain was more excited than Nouf. She always wanted to experience the life abroad. Waking up in the morning in her own apartment, walking to work or college and passing by Starbucks on her way for a cup of coffee. Buying groceries, fixing the interior and all those little things that count.
Fares caught the excitement in Lojain's eyes. "You think its all fun? With your....... that attitude, you'll get yourself in serious problems."
"Well i've seen myself handle more responsibility than you ever did since we got here."
"Lojaiiiin" Haifa hissed trying to calm her down.
"Whaat? I'm being honest!" She looks around at everyone's faces. "I bet Butti took all the responsibility when you two were there, am i right Butti?"
Butti didn't want to go into this conversation. He turned around to look at Nouf, maybe dive into another conversation with her. Or maybe she should listen to this, maybe she should know how Fares really is. But he couldn't bring himself to do such thing to his brother.
"He did and I played hard" Fares smirked and puffed on his cigarette. "Got a problem?"
Lojain glared at him before walking away, "Pathetic."

Butti just laughed at the scene, it was amusing how Lojain could stand up in the face of his cold blooded brother. She could actually trigger him to talk and negotiate. He patted Fares on his shoulders, "1-0, step up your game bro."

The next twenty minutes passed along with interesting conversations. Lojain, Butti and Mariam were on one side talking about the States and studying abroad while Haifa and Nouf were engaged in a casual conversation with Fares. Nouf was able to gather more information about her prince regardless of Fares' rare contribution to the conversation.


.......

مبارك عليكم الشهر

Dear my supportive readers;

Ramadan Kareem !

Kl 3am w ento b5air <3

I'm a terrible blogger for letting you all wait so long before posting. I'm really sorry, i really try my best to squeeze in time to write. Thank you all for finding the time to visit my blog, read and comment. I appreciate it a lot and hopefully I'll post soon. *fingers crossed*

Love you!

Serendipity 23

Sorry for the delay. 


Previously on Serendipity...

I walked faster to catch up with Fares and smiled at him. I felt victorious as if i won against Butti. I don't know why, but i just did.

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Nouf 

We walked with Fares towards the left on a pathway and down the stairs. With every few steps, one of us would turn to look behind to check that Lojain is still within sight. She was cutting her way through in a diagonal way. Looks like a shortcut to wherever we are going. As a really really good friend, i should have joined her. But seriously, the place is filled with people and how would she know where is the cruise. With no one's support she might change her mind and stop the stubbornness, i convinced myself. 

A few steps later i turn around to look for Lojain. I couldn't see her. 
"Guys, i can't spot Lojain.."
Fares ran his fingers into his hair, breathed in then calmly announced that he will drop us by the cruise since its close by now, then he'll go looking for her. Dragging three other girls isn't helpful. 
"I told you, we shouldn't have left her alone!!" Haifa was freaking out again.

As we got closer to the cruise, we were surprised to spot Lojain standing right beside Maryam's mother and the rest of the group. Haifa ran across, hugged Lojain and started ranting about how she made us feel. 
"Boring and cowardssss" Lojain rolled her eyes at us.
And thats it. The mothers didn't realize what had happened, they just laughed at the scene between Haifa and Lojain and asked us to follow Butti into the cruise. As we walked up the ramp, Lojain turned and gave Fares one of her huh-reconsider-you-existence kind of look. Oh Lojain, just stop it. I knew at that moment that a war, a cold war, has just begun. 

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When she was left alone, Lojain knew that there was no way she's going back with the group. She will not loose face and will stick to her decision. She walked a few steps hesitantly. I'll instagram this, she thought as she saw a little stall with men grilling freshly caught fish, that's what got me into this mess anyway. At the same moment, an image of a cruise appeared on her timeline. It was posted by Haifa's mom. BINGO, thought Lojain as she approached the people selling sandwiches in the stall on her left. 
"Where's this cruise?" The guy pointed directly across him to a shorter way to get there. 

Butti was surprised to find that Lojain came alone but soon enough it became the least of his concern. He spotted Nouf between the crowd. It was amusing how his brain was able to identify her before reading the details of her face. It was as if he could sense her being there, sense her existence. A smile found it place on his face. 

Just as they were few steps away did Butti acknowledge the rest. A spark of jealousy managed to crawl into his heart as he recognized the matching colors of Nouf and Fares's outfits. Ridiculous, he told himself. And he knew that it was ridiculous. Never in his life would he wear matching outfits or colors with someone, not even someone he loved so much. But it was the whole thing that triggered the jealousy. The look on Nouf's face as she is walking beside Fares, talking to him and smiling; looking like a couple. He wanted to have that....
He makes her smile...  So do you. 
The war of thoughts in his head sounded more like a conversation between the angel on his right shoulders and the devil on the left. But he didn't know which was the angel or the devil. Is it the devil telling him to steal the girl from his brother and cousin or is it actually the angel tell him that he is a better person, more suitable for Nouf. She still didn't pick, he decided to prevent himself from backing up into his own world. Does she even consider  the other option, replied a faint voice in his head.


The Bosphorus cruise they were on was a double deck. The lower floor is arranged to look like a restaurant with tables and chairs. It wasn't that fancy. It was closed with glass windows and installed with heaters and ACs to allow people to enjoy the warmth in the winter and the cold in summer. You could order turkish coffee, black tea, hot chocolate, soft drinks and a couple of selected appetizers to munch on. The upper floor is where the sight seeing happens. The place is full of benches and was roofless to allow the people to enjoy the breeze. As everyone settled on the lower floor and started ordering drinks, the cruise started its trip along the calm Bosphorus river. 

A few minutes into the trip, Fares excuses himself to go upstairs. To his luck, the women were engaged in entertaining gossip so no one would follow him. He went upstairs, kneeled on the edge of the rail looked onto the beautiful river and lighted his cigarette. It was comforting to just be there alone and not think of anything again. The past hour was extremely exhausting. Not physically but mentally. It was his first time being responsible in that way. He could handle being responsible of Haifa alone, being responsible of managing a whole trip with the guys and even events or parties. But not this.  And what "this" was, was not entirely clear to him. 

Butti interrupted Fares' peace of mind as he grabbed the cigarette of his hand and took a puff. 
"You smoke?!" Fares was startled by what he saw. 
"Now I do" replied Butti with no hint of emotion.  He coughed but took another puff disregarding the dislike he had to the taste of it.  
The silence between the two bothered no one. There was plenty to see. Istanbul was a beauty in winter. All the buildings were coated with thin white sugary icing of snow. The pure, clean white color of the snow contradicted with the old, rough brown, yellow and maroon colors of the old buildings. The whole scene looked like it carried so many stories of all kinds.

A gasp of excitement broke through the cold silence. It was Nouf that had just found her way to the upper floor all alone. She was taken back by the scenery and the weather; a nice warm sun, really cold breeze and layer of snow on buildings. This is amaaaaaazing, she thought as she started taking pictures.
"I wish i could show the real thing in the picture," she was disappointed that the image did not carry as much feelings as her. She wanted to send it to her parents and make them feel as if they are here with her. "When will the japanese create some kind of camera that will capture a bit of the weather too"

Butti was leaning on the rail with his back to the scenery and watching Nouf. He chuckled at her comments. She's complaining like she always has. Nouf turned to ask one of the boys to take a picture of her. Fares was still staring into the horizon and looked like a body with no soul. It was as if his soul was out there far away wondering and travelling in space. Butti stepped forward and took Nouf's iPhone to take her photo. He held the mobile phone with two hands ready for the picture when Nouf exasperated out loud, 
"You smooookeee!!!?" and added a disgusted look on her face.
Butti forgot about the cigarette in his hand.  
"no i'm just randomly holding a cigarette in my hands" he said as he attempted to take another puff casually. But it failed miserably as he started coughing out loud. Nouf couldn't refrain herself from laughing. 
"Trying to act cool? it doesn't suit you..."
"shhh" he said as he put down the cigarette in the nearest ash tray. 
"How does it taste?" she asked curiously.
"Disgusting" he replied honestly. "Wanna try?" 
"No thank you. I don't need a cigarette to feel "cool"" she said as she posed ready for a picture. 
"I bet you dont need an iphone to look cool too" he said as he held the iphone with two fingers over the rail ready to drop it in the river. "If it slips, it slips."
 "You're the coolest person I know, you're even too cool to be cool" She knew he wouldn't drop it but really what if it slips. "please please please"
"ok stop begging" he said in a snobbish tone. "Ready?"
"yes"
Butti turned around to take a picture of him and Nouf in the background. 
"Do you have to be everywhere?" she rolled her eyes. 

They spent the next couple of minutes taking pictures of each other, for instagram and some selfies. The atmosphere was light and fun. Nouf was comfortable as to make funny faces and not care about how her face would look. However, the atmosphere wasn't the same around Fares. 
"What's wrong?" she said pointing at Fares and Butti just shrugged. "You should ask him"
"If its something he can't handle he'll talk. Why are the others still downstairs?"
The rest of the group have just discovered some mutual connections and friends that they know. Their conversation turned into a twirl of endless gossip that none of them want to escape. Nouf was never intrigued by gossip and as a lonely child she always knew how to have fun alone. 
"Gossip" she said gesturing with her hands that its huuuuge. "He looks sad, maybe its cuz of Lojain running away and so on..."
"Lojain ran away??" 
"Nooo not really, she just took another route from the metro to the cruise. Fares got mad."
"I don't think so. You can go and ask him if you're that concerned.." He replied sarcastically. 
Nouf did not pick up the sarcasm in his tone, "La i hate intruding into other people's life. I'll just call him to sit with us."
Great, he thought. Too much for showing her the other option. "I'll go call the others, you want something to drink?"
"Hot chocolate"

........